did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
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