IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
I feel like I have African malaria. I just remembered singing Teenage Dream in full to that biker couple at the bar.
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
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The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
Man it shouldn't be possible to get mad while you're stoned. I feel like ive broken one of the laws of physics
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