i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
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