I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
Randomize