he thought i was a dude.
You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
On a scale of one to Harambe, how attached were you to your goldfish?
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
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