The cop didn't care that I was peeing on the wall of my dorm building... All he said was, "come on, it's 9am."
Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
I had sex with two guys in one day. One on my grandma's couch, one on a golf course. This is the greatest post-surgery accomplishment I could ask for.
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
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