Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
I attempted to stand up and was quickly reminded by gravity that I am the universe's bitch right now
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
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