So is it bad that I'm using this 21 year old for his hot bod and utter naivety?
No its what 21 year olds are made for
I feel like abortions should bother me more
it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
My mom just drunkenly told me i was conceived in the back of a car, at a Bon Jovi concert.
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
Being hungover in this office is the actual worst. Like they look at me and know I was wasted at 1 am, karaokeing Billy Idol at a gay bar.
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
Randomize
