I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
I got drunk and applied for two credit cards last night. About to find out if anyone in this world is still dumb enough to give me credit.
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
Oh you have the munchies, Dad? That's great and congratulations on the weed but STOP EATING MY APPLE PIE
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
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