Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
I feel like that needs to be the last time i end a text with "fuck them i love tequila".
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
There's a burrito next to my bed. Did you buy it for me or is the Chipotle fairy real? And why am I naked?
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
You sending me our unborn, unfertilized babies' names is not what I envisioned when you said you'd "drunk text me later".
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
Randomize
