Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
I am never drinking with the goths again.
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
Randomize
