This girl is more easily done than said...
so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah.
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
Randomize
