Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
I know you think you’re ready to graduate but just keep these things in mind: taxes, I get up at 5 AM every morning, I have to buy vegetables when I go grocery shopping, and I can’t wear sweat pants to work. Take that victory lap and enjoy the sweat pants and bar hopping because it goes downhill real quick.
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
Randomize
