Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
You are a booty call, not a friend.
You called me at 3 am and I rode my flat ass bike that I dug out of my garage in the dark to meet you at dunkin donuts for a 10 minute convo about your mother and you didn't drive me home.
you owe me a blunt and a bottle of moscato.
IM WAITING BITCH. ANSWER ME.
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
Randomize
