She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
Some guy was coming onto me last night and in the middle of it all he said: 'It literally says this on my birth certificate: Francis Coburt: The Guy Who Can Pull Two Beers Outta His Pants Like Magic.'
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
Randomize
