Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
Randomize
