i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
I have just been informed that my company has ray guns. I WORK FOR ACTUAL BOND VILLAINS. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
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