it hurts more in the daytime
If I had a nickel for every time somebody called me a bad person I would have enough money to check into rehab
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
Randomize
