After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
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