Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
I need a secretary to manage my drinking schedule.
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
Judging from the sharpie on my face, glitter on my chest and women's tiger print panties i'm wearing last night was a thing.
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