then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
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