We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
I'm in a dress, surrounded by Republicans, and the bartender just told me he's "out of Jack Daniels" in a very accusatory tone. Shit, is it only 8 PM?
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize
