I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yes, you can go into Petsmart drunk but the cats awaiting adoption don't appreciate the soft pretzels squeezed through their cages.
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
Randomize