....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
Can I color on your dick again?
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING BARTENDERS WE DON'T HAVE MORAL STANDARDS
Randomize
