Kicked off drink for Jesus month by puking in my mouth while talking to my priest...real cool
My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
I thought I broke my iPhone. I was almost as depressed as the day I broke my vibrator.
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
Randomize
