im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
You went through my pantry and left one of everything in the box. One cracker. One cheesit. One piece of cereal. I really fucking hate you.
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
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