while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
Randomize
