This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
Yeah apparently i got lonely because everyone was hooking up so i took matters into my own hands. I woke up on the floor spooning a vaccuum cleaner, a mop, 40 paper cups, and industrial grade detergent.
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
Im just a social blackout drinker.
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
Randomize
