I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
Bank of America texted me 7 times in 12 hours to say my balance was below $50. I kept transfering money back in. Then I texted my bank saying that it was okay, i knew what I was doing.
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
Santa was walking around downtown handing out stuff at the bars. He gave me a free eyebrow wax. I think he's trying to tell me something
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize
