I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
Turns out vomit takes off spray tan.
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
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