Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
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