I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
sarcasm needs its own font
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
Randomize
