I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
EVERY baby cries during their baptism. It's like they know from that moment on their parents are going to make them do lame things like their first communion and stuff.
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
SHE BROUGHT HER PARROT TO THE PARTY. IT SQUAWKS EVERY TIME SOMEONE VOMITS LIKE 'PARTY FOUL SQUAWKKKKKK'
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
Uhm... Found a ziploc bag... In the freezer. Sam, thought it was lemonade. Why did you make frozen piss at my house, again?
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
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