so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
Spotted: forty year old in red dress, cigarette in hand, squatting to pee by railroad tracks. Hello future.
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
I made her dinner: Beefaroni with grated parmesan cheese on top. Luckily she showed up drunk and gave me head, "For spending so much time preparing."
i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
Today's psa: there are certain parts of your body you shouldn't scratch while wearing fake nails.
you just tore your cootch a new one, didn't you?
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
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