he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
I wish there were birth control emojis
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
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