Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
I just woke up with a girl who has left and right tattoed on her wrists. In french. I may need to stop drinking.
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
Randomize
