So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
She's going to get me a sippy cup for christmas. If I can't open it, I can't have any more to drink. Seem reasonable?
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
i think my cat just said my name.
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
Trying to figure out these fractions. I bought 5 fifths of gin last week. Does that mean I have one whole gin? 5/5 = 1, right? You're having to homeschool your kids right now--so ask them.
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
Randomize
