Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
Randomize
