oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
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