he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
I woke up in a chipotle parking lot with an industrial sized box of condoms and a bag of dounut holes. I need Jesus
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
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