You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
We left the knife in your bed.
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
Randomize
