i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
YOU GOT KICKED OUT OF FIVE GUYS LAST NIGHT FOR THROWING PEANUTS AT THE PEOPLE WHO WORK THERE?!
correction: escorted out
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
i need to put some appletini on your dick
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
Randomize
