An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
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making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
So far today I've found 3.5 million dollars in savings. Pretty sure management is gonna start buying me hookers if getting laid has this much payoff
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GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
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