Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
Randomize
