Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
Jesus I should have learned from my first marriage not to get married again
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
Randomize
