She told me she only masterbates to Kenny Rogers songs.
OMG. What did u say?
I told her I did too.
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
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