this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
Randomize
