So.. my mom just told me she hasn't gotten laid in 7 years... I'm really disturbed.. at the same time... At least now I know why shes so damn cranky all the damn time
Please don't tell me you're asking me to have sex with your mother.
She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
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