Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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