I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
She always acts like she's doing me a favor with a hand job. I've been giving myself hand jobs for almost 20 years.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
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