The funny thing is... I'm about to go to the store to buy WD-40 and condoms... That's it.
And before you ask they are unrelated purchases.
I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
My office already closed tomorrow. I'm bout to get drunk and build a muh fuckin fort. I shall call it "Fort Fuck You, Sandy, You Fuckin Bitch"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
If Dr Phil has taught me anything about myself, it’s that I can seriously relate to those women who fake their pregnancies.
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
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