You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
So I was putting on a condom and looked to my right to not make eye contact, she said did you just look at the American flag while putting that on. I said this one's for Team USA.
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
Randomize
