Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
Randomize
