I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
He has the fingertips of a God
Randomize
