I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
Randomize
